Exposing PseudoAstronomy

December 31, 2008

Psychic Predictions for 2009

Filed under: astrology,humor,Miscellaneous,ufo — Stuart Robbins @ 2:05 pm

Psychic Predictions

I have studied the stars, felt the metaphysical forces that flow through the cosmos, and they have all led me to the following psychic predictions for 2009:

(1) There will be a UFO sighting in or near a major US city during 2009. The government will have no official confirmation of it being a UFO.

(2) Despite a lot of pressure from certain groups (such as MUFON) and the apparent interests of his transition chief, John Podesta, Barack Obama will not do any UFO disclosure once he becomes president.

(3) Assuming the Large Hadron Collider actually becomes operational, there will be a significant earthquake that will cause damage when it does. And within 2 weeks, there will be at least a magnitude 6 earthquake.

(4) Towards the end of March and through the first weeks of April, the sun will swallow an entire planet, though it will miraculously emerge intact by May.

(5) Scientists will still not be able to explain why constants, such as gravity, the speed of light, and the mass of quarks are what they are from first principles, leaving open the possibility that the universe was designed by an intelligent being.

(6) People will continue to believe that the planet Niburu is going to throw Earth out of orbit in 2012, despite those annoying scientists who say otherwise.

(7) On January 7, February 3, March 3, March 30, April 26, June 20, July 17, August 14, September 10, and November 3, the great reflective orb in the heavens will occlude some Sisters from sight.

(8) 2009 will be another year for some amazing new discoveries in astronomy, especially in the fields of extrasolar planet research and large-scale cosmology.

(9) Much fewer sunspots than had been predicted will continue to confuse astronomers, and there will be some people who link it to global temperatures.


Aries: You will find that anger does not work well in places of employment, except when it is able to accomplish your goals.

Taurus: Your headstrong nature may lead you astray unless you temper it with your more pragmatic side.

Gemini: You found 2008 economically depressing, but if you’re careful and plan wisely, you can recover in 2009.

Cancer: If you pay close attention to your home life, you will find 2009 to be very rewarding domestically.

Leo: 2009 is not the best year for you to strike out on your own. Keep your attention-seeking tendencies in check and you will find your efforts rewarded.

Virgo: This is a year where your ability to help others should flourish.

Libra: Keep trying to be less lazy this year, especially in your procrastination. Doing so will help in all aspects of your life in 2009.

Scorpio: When someone does something you don’t like or disagree with, don’t feel as afraid to speak up. As long as you’re calm and rational about it, your ideas should be met with appreciation.

Sagittarius: Seek out new things in 2009. Find a new hobby, make a new friend, etc., and you will be rewarded for the experience.

Capricorn: Remaining practical and pragmatic in this year of change will help ground you throughout 2009.

Aquarius: Take a chance this year – your originality in the work place may be rewarded.

Pisces: You may find a friend trying to confide in you this year, and if you let your own sensitive, empathic side come through, your friendship will deepen and they will be very appreciative.


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